Bitches man...(prepare for a rant)

Oh yeah I typed the word bitch. Bitch bitch bitch. Ha. It's the one swear my mom says, so that means that I can say it. Take your judgement and eyes elsewhere if it bugs you because that word is the theme of this post. I'm mad and I'm cursing. Deal. Back to the topic at hand. Bitches, can't live with them, can't live without them. Actually since I'm a female and not a horny male I probably could live without them. Seriously. I have never gotten chicks. I've basically always hung out with dudes and Heather my BFF forever, who is about as girly as me. Why you ask would I want to hang out with smelly males all the time? Because dudes while not entirely without their moments are far less bitchy than females. It's true. They have a code, and they usually live by it. I respect that. There is no code for females. It's madness. Hormone driven drama, all the time, and I am done with it. Don't believe me, well then let me present you with some excellent example of why I HATE estrogen havers.

Lets start with the motivation for this blog, and lets start at the beginning. I am single, and fine with it, and not man hunting. Next, my roommate is single, and sort of looking and a huntress to the core. Thirdly I have a friend whom is just a friend and whom my roommate thinks I would be "super cute with" because apparently we have "great chemistry." She is very stuck on this idea despite the fact that I don't like him and he doesn't like me and we are friends and its good. Even if I did like him she would be the last person I would a) tell and b) turn to for advice and help in snaring this man. Anywho she came up with this invite him and his roommates to dinner scheme to try and hook us up. This scheme was put into action before I knew her true intentions and could stop it. That made me mad. Seriously? You aren't and old jewish lady, your name isn't Yente, and therefore you don't get to be the matchmaker, matchmaker who makes me a match. Does she stop there? NO! Every time I say his name she raises her eyebrows and makes some comment like "buddies can only be buddies for so long". Whatever, I can handle that. Sure it's kinda bitchy, but not like girl I will cut you bitchy. Until tonight. Tonight said friend came over because we are planning a trip to California for spring break as we both have peeps at UCLA and love sunshine and driving with two is cheaper. The entire evening she is poking her head in and making comments and raising her eyebrows at us. And then AND THEN she asks me, in front of him if I have a date for a big morority event. Yeah. And dwells on the subject for awhile. In front of him. GAH! Seriously I am ready to bitch slap her back to her hometown. Bitch move. I am literally trembling from rage. Butt the frakk out! It was awkward for him, it was awkward for me and she gloats and feels pleased with her work.

Another bitchy things girls do. They play with males. All the time. I have a rule, I will go on one date with most anyone, I feel like if a man has the balls to ask me out I can say yes to one date. But if I'm not interested I won't go on more. But I know of girls who do this for the free dinner. Bitch move.

Hated female trait three, the fairy tale mindset. I have a friend, who is a little crazy and is dating a really great guy. He listens to her talk, which she can do for hours. But whenever she talks about him she says she doesn't think it will last. Why you, and I, ask? Because he has some things that bug her about him and when she met him she just didn't feel like he was the one. I'm sorry say what? Were you expecting a shower of light and fairy dust with singing angels? You're not perfect either. This guy is great to you, great for you, and not bad looking. But no, without some sort of instantaneous gut swooping head spinning moment he couldn't possibly be the one. Get over yourself and realize a good thing when you have it. Don't count him out because he didn't ride up to you on a white horse.

There are plenty more bitchy things that girls do that include but are not limited to backstabbing, gossiping, boyfriend stealing, back handed complementing and inducing hellish amounts of drama. I am sick of it and I am done. I am seriously thinking of taking over Will Ferrell's job as Bitch Hunter.