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This is me, my head and my life. Deal with it.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

When my ego is prego...

So today I was being a very good student and reading the chapter I was supposed to for my human development class. It was the chapter on pregnancy and prenatal development. It made me really step back and think about the 9 month suck fest that is going to be pregnancy. Seriously, there are so many things that can effect your embreo/fetus. I think that when I get preggers, in like 8-15 years, I am going to just live in a glass bubble. That way the teratogens, those are the things that can eff up your unborn child, just can't get to me. So the plan is to just live in a nice calm bubble for nine months, and not eat anything that has touched the outside world, or take any drugs or breath or get sick. It will take some planning, but I think I can do it. Also for the actual birthing process, I want to be numb up to my armpits. Seriously, all of this natural childbirth in a pool with a midwife encouraging you through it is total crap. I want to be in a hospital with all the pain meds you can safely shove in my body happily floating through my system before I push that little sucker out. The good lord gave us epidurals for a reason. So those are my pregnancy goals. A giant bubble for nine months and then lots and lots of pain meds. I think it sounds like a good plan.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Minnesotans

Today I went to my first Chem discussion/lab. My TA grew up in Wisconsin and got his bachelors and masters in Minnesota. I don't think I have been this happy about a TA since my freshman history of religions class. My TA there was absolutely beautiful. Seriously, yum. This TA isn't attractive, but he has a minnesotan accent that amuses me to no end. I think it is going to be a great semester. If you don't know what a Minnesotan accent sounds like I recommend you watch 'Drop Dead Gorgeous." Actually I just recommend you watch that movie, because it is fantastic. Anywho is this going to be the best four hours ever on a Monday? I think yes

Friday, August 27, 2010

Drip drip drop little August torrential downpour

I am not a fan of Utah summers. I don't think anyone in there right mind would say they are. Summers, especially the July August range in Utah are hot, and dry, and stifling and nasty. Utah summers do have one redeeming quality however, the "monsoon season" as my dear mother so aptly puts it. You wake up in the morning, maybe you feel like P. Diddy, maybe you don't, I don't know you, and before you brush your teeth with a bottle of jack, or a tooth brush, you realize that this morning is not like other mornings. There isn't a horrible brightness penetrating through your window. Instead there is a slight greyness. A thin layer of clouds is covering the sun. As the day goes on bigger and bigger clouds move in. Finally you look up and realize that the clouds above are Cumulonimbus, thank you Russell of Up, and it is looking like a storm. Now the waiting begins. Because it is so frakking hot in Utah like all the time it may or may not rain. So you walk around, hoping, dreaming and praying for rain. Any moisture hitting your skin be it someone's sprinklers on your leg or someone's spittle on you arm makes you stop, look up, and search for drops. Somedays no drops come, and it is exceptionally sad. Other days however the rain does come, and oh how it comes. It can start slowly, with a flash of light and rumble in the distance and then come the little drops that build, but sometimes is sudden with huge drops all of a sudden coming from the sky. Either way eventually you have what I like to call the torrential downpour, although a weather man may have used it first. And everything is wet and there are puddles to jump in and frolic through and it smells amazing and the wind is blowing and sometimes there is thunder and lightning and it's fabulous, absolutely fabulous. So even though Disney's song rolled off the tongue better I will take August torrential downpours over April showers any day of the week.

Monday, August 23, 2010

An accredited four year university by any other name would smell...almost as sweet

Hello nonreaders (Krystal I'm ignoring you and continuing to pretend that no one reads this, thanks for telling me you do and shattering my nice little illusion of anonymity, now I'm self conscious, jerk.) As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by actual humans, sorry it's been so long, I'm sure you haven't missed me, but boy have I missed spilling my guts to the nonexistent you! "Jessica," you most probably have not been saying to yourselves "Jessica why, why did you leave us for so long. We have been lost without your witty ramblings about the goings on in your life and the random thoughts that float into your head. Are you dead dear Jessica?" Let me assure you oblivious blogoshpere I am not dead. Where have I been? Well in the last 10 days I, and all of my personal belongings and worldly possessions, have been bouncing around like a 3 year old who just ate cotton candy and got into a bounce house. As many of you undoubtedly don't know I have had to leave my beloved UCLA and transfer to the slightly less beloved University of Utah. And let me tell you transferring personal belongings and schools in basically a two week span is a b*tch if you'll pardon my almost French. Let me break down to you how things have gone.
8/13/2010: I go to my last day of work, which is a friday, and party all night with my parking cohorts.
8/14/2010: Parental units show up with our truck, because apparently we own a truck now.
8/15/2010: We pack up all my crap and drive the 10 hours back to Mapleton. There are some tears, a lot of napping, and a lot of angry hip hop and rap. Oh yeah, I be gangsta.
The week of the 15th: I unpack my clothes, clean my clothes, repack my clothes as well as go through all the stuff that I left at home in order to determine what I want to take, what I want to give away,what I want to throw away, and what I want to stash away and decided to throw away later. I also have friends to see, social functions to attend, sleep to catch up on, orientation to go to, counselors to meet with, a roommate to see for the first time, a lease to sign and furniture and clothes and bedding and kitchen ware to move from Mapleton to Salt Lake. While I am trying to do all this my mother is trying to tell me how to do all this and I am ignoring her, but trying to make it seem like I'm doing all the things she says I should do. Basically my life that week was as exhausting and long and confusing as the description above, but I figure, hey once I get moved in and settled it will all be good. Once school starts all will be right with the world.
8/23/2010: School starts. All is not right with the world. You see, the University of Utah has decided that I am not a resident of Utah, and that I have until friday to prove that I am in fact a Utah resident. So in short I moved back to Utah because UCLA won't give me residency, and now Utah says I'm not a resident. I am a resident of no state. I feel like my life is a Beatles song right now. I'm a real nowhere man, living in my nowhere land, making all my nowhere plans for nobody. It's not as awesome as you would think.
8/27/2010 Oh hey thats brings us to today. My feet are sore, my mind is tired, and my room is a mess. But! by the end of today I will prove to the admission beezies that I am a resident, I joined an LDS Sorority which means I will have friends, and I think I'm almost happy. Do I miss California? Yes terribly. Do I wish I could be at UCLA working for parking and being generally awesome at this very moment? Completely. But unfourtunatley I can wish on all the shooting stars, and airplanes that I'm pretending are shooting stars, and that's not going to happen. So I think I am going to just have to be awesome here. Because the U is a great school, and an accredited university by any other name not UCLA smells as sweet right? Actually it smells a lot better here because of the lack of smog.

Friday, August 13, 2010

UCLA Parking, an ode and a diatribe, both


Well folks, today was my last day of being gainfully employed by UCLA parking. I've worked there for one year and five months. It's been one year and five months of the best job and the worst job I've ever had. So lets start with the bad and then end with the good. Because that way you are left with a good flavor, like mint toothpaste or raspberries, and not a bad taste like that icky taste you get after you take a nap.The bad part of parking is mostly the actual job itself. Waking up at 5 am, so as to catch the bus and get to work by 6:30, not so fun. I mean I got up at 6 all through high school, but there is a big difference between five and six. 60 big differences in fact. All I have to say is that I should not be getting up at the same time my roommates are going to bed. It's sick and wrong. And the people you have to help. This job has basically ruined all hope I had for the collective intelligence and courtesy of the human race. Put simply people are rude, stupid, loud, grumpy, condesending, and all to eager to yell at the little guy. Examples, people yelling at me about the "ridiculously high price" of parking. I know that parking costs a lot. But this is UCLA and we have no money. Also you rolling your eyes, sighing heavily and making a snarky comment isn't going to make me suddenly give you free parking, or magically lower the cost of parking. It's not like complaining is the key to get me to suddenly say, "you know what, you're right, I'm going to change that price right now." I work in a 3 by 8 kiosk, and wear a blue polo(one of which I stole) and a pouch (also stollen.) Do you really think I can do ANYTHING about the price of parking, like at? Cuz I'm gonna be straight with you, I can't.
People don't listen. They don't. I give good directions. I do. For example: toget to lot 6 you're going to go straight through the light in front of us into the bus turn around. Follow the curve around until you hit the stop sign and then lot six will be straight in front of you." That was pretty clear right? So imagine my frustration when people say "so I turn left at the right?" Really, REALLY? I didn't say left once. I said straight twice, but never once did I say left. So you know what? You go ahead and turn left. I'll see you again in ten minutes when you're late and mad and still an idiot.
I could go on, but I won't because then I would seem bitter. Which I guess I am, but seeming bitter is bad, so I'll go on being bitter on the inside and pretending to be content and full of hope for humanity on the outside.
The good thing about parking was the people. Not the people I help. Those people are insufferable jerks who don't think I know what I'm doing, and try and tell me what to do. Do you really think that you are the only person going to a campus tour I've ever helped sir? I mean really? The group campus tour that runs twice a day 5 days a week? Yeah, I know where your going, but thanks for the directions. Nope not those morons. I'm talking about the people I work with. I guess that working in an itty bitty kiosk for 8 hours any given day really bonds you like nothing else can. I have laughed so much with the people I work with. I've met some really great people who I really thinkand hope I will know for the rest of my life. I worked with a group of funny, irreverent, inappropriate, kind, and awesome people. This is incredibly mushy, but just getting to know and party with those fools everyday turned working a crap job into working a great job.
K6 for life! TSAAAAAAAAA!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Return of the King

WOOOOT! I finished all three movies in the LOTR trilogy. BAM! I... need to get a life. I was looking at my last posts on the subject and realized that I am a dork, and need to keep it short. SO here it goes, but in a short way.
Favorite line, Legolas "A diversion!" Thank you. Thank you for that. Also, I think there are scenes when he doesn't have blue contacts in, and others where he does.
One might think this book is all about the good of humanity and good defeating evil, but is it really? I mean in the end the ring getting destroyed is kind of fluke. Frodo doesn't destroy it. Gollum bites it off Frodo's finger and then falls into the fires of Mount Doom. Up to the end Frodo is fighting to get that ring back. Frodo gives into the temptations of the ring. What does that say about man and hobbit kind? I guess that we are all human, and while we can be great, we can't be perfect. I'm ok with that message.
So many extended and added scenes. I don't even think it's the same movie.
In closing, see, I kept it short. I love those movies, and I love Hobbits, and I love Middle Earth. LOTR lover for life!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

LOTR 2, in which there are towers, two of them

Part 2 of LOTRTHON 2010 today. It was the "Two Towers" in which actual fighting goes on in many different places, namely Helms Deep and Isengard, and on many different levels, namely between races, between individuals and between fractions of self. So first for the big reflections. I feel like many trilogies, ok mostly I'm thinking of Star Wars here, but still, follow a pattern. The set up, the bad guy looks strong but doesn't win, the good guy wins the war. So this part was the bad guy part. Evil is on the rise. Evil comes against all our heros in one way and another, and at the very end good manages to squeak out a win. This is especially true in the battle at Helms Deep. Seriously, talk about a last minute entry with the riders of Rohan.

I sensed a bit of social commentary when they were ripping apart Isengard. You know the whole, tear down the forest to make way for a new age of industry. Sound like any civilizations we know? Cough, the western world, cough. Sorry imaginary readers I had some phlegm... in my fingers. And seeing as how in the end of the movie nature kicks industries butt maybe we ought to learn a lesson.

Now on to witty character commentary. We, meaning I but trying to be inclusive to all the people who don't read this blog, talked about Legolas's role last entry. You know, stay clean, look sexy, state the obvious while sounding wise. I figured out how he does this. When he is looking out into the distance using his "elf eyes" to see crap, his eyes get all big. But then when he is stating the obvious his eyes get all scrunched like what he is saying is took a great deal of mental capacity to come up with. Then he looks back and forth, like he's searching for the words. When he finally comes up with some he speaks at a slow pace and tilts his head to the side. All this results in him looking wise and sexy even when he says completely asinine things like "a red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night." Other roles of Legolas include to encourage others, but in a condescending way, and to mock Gimli. Gimli's role then would be that of comic relief, and an awesome accent. Aragorn, which completes that little trilogy of people, is the leader, tracker, hunter, ladies man, and general bad ass, pardon the french, of the group.
In this movie we start to see emo Frodo emerge. This is linked with the coming of Gollum. He starts to doubt Sam, bad life decision, and love the ring, worse life decision. His only bit of redemption comes when he realizes that without Sam he would be dead. I know carrying the ring is a horrible task, but I wish he would realize this more often.
Now to my favorite person in the trilogy, Samwise Gamgee. He is the purest kindest best kind of person, or hobbit I suppose. If more people were like him, then the world would be a better place. The speech he gives at the end of the movie, about the world and the stories, it's beautiful. Frodo doesn't deserve him.
Other notes: Bad guys usually have bad hair and bad teeth. That's what I like to call Karma. The scene where Gandolf, and the three non-hobbits emerge from the forest and Shaddowfax comes galloping towards him. For a moment I was like wait, wait, is that a unicorn? I think it is, I think that Gandolf gets to ride a uni... oh wait, no, thats just a really white horse. Sure he's king of the horses, but thats not as cool as riding a unicorn. It was a sad moment. Why don't the ring wraiths ride those dragon things all the time? Makes more sense to me.
Well world of the blogosphere who are all completely ignorant of my existence. I am glad you are out there to not listen to me be a complete and total freak-a-leek about Lord of the Rings. I'm glad you are there to unwittingly put up with me. Until next time, and look out for red rising suns.

Monday, August 2, 2010

LOTR FTW!!!

So because I am not taking classes at the moment, and get done with work at three, and don't have any particularly big goals for the summer besides finish "War and Peace." I know how cool am I. I have decided that my life goal for this week is to watch the entire "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, extended version. I'm thinking I will finish this goal up by Wednesday and then I might go back and watch all the bonus features. Today marked day one on my quest to vicariously travel to Mordor alongside Frodo and Sam. Here are my notes on the first movie in this epic trilogy. First off the extended version is friggin long. I mean wow. I started at like 4 and it is now 7. I feel it was three hours well spent though. Second note this movie is not as action packed as the second two. When I first saw this movie, sitting in the theater with my family having just completed the book, I thought it was super full of action. But really it's just kind of a lead up to the action of the two other movies. It's like these movies are going through the fight or flight reaction. This movie is the flight. Basically the fellowship is running away. No plan, no battles unless they absolutely need them. I also feel like Frodo grow a lot in this movie, but has yet to grow so much that he is a total back stabbing emo kid. Frodo is my favorite in this movie for sure. Other, less important things I noticed. Aragorn and Arwen's babies are going to be absolutely fantastically beautiful. Sean Astin was born to be a hobbit. He just looks like a hobbit. I look at him with out a traveling cloak and hairy feet and still think, now that there is one hobbit-y little man. Orlando Bloom's Legolas seems to have one role, and that is to look sexily off into the distance and then state the obvious, but sound really wise doing it. Oh, and he never gets dirty. Aragorn, Gimli, Gandolf, the Hobbits, and Boromir usually are seen in varying degrees of filth and nastiness, but not Legolas. He is always very clean and his hair is always fantastic. ANd thats not an elf trait because Elrond is all dirty in the flashbacks . We'll see, I'm using the royal we here, if this cleanliness thing holds true in later movies.
Until I next get my dork on remember that LOTR rules all!