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This is me, my head and my life. Deal with it.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Proof that I can get stuff done...eventually



Once upon a time, many months ago, I moved into my apartment in Salt Lake City. Something that moved in with me was my childhood dresser. It was given to me by my grandparents when I was very young. It was painted by my grandma during the 4 month period of my childhood where I was actually a girl and liked pink. Imagine 5 more drawers that look like the picutre below.

You see the problem? Just in case you don't let me spell it out for you. It was pretty much the ugliest effing dresser ever. And I hated it. So before I moved up to Salt Lake I decided that I was going to change it. Not with paint, that's messy, costly, and a very bad idea especially if you're me, which I am. What I decided to do was get crafty with my dresser. I stole a bottle of Modge Podge and all my mom's old magazines. Basically the idea was that I was going to make a giant collage like the kind made by kindergartners on my dresser. I think I got about 3 drawers done before my room fell into disrepair and general horrific messiness. So there sat my dresser, half done, and half ugly. UNTIL NOW! That's right ladies and gentlemen, all it took was a massive room cleaning and an equally massive desire not to study for my physiology test and BAM my dresser is finished. And isn't it grand? That's it below in case you were wondering.
I actually don't care if you think it's grand. You could side with my roommate and think its "interesting" by which she means horrible, tacky and trashy, or you can think it's the coolest thing ever. What matters is that I love it. And the bows and garlands are gone. That's also a very important aspect. It feels like me and it fits in my room and I can look at it without wanting to vomit. Also it fills me with great pride. I not only started a craft project, I finished a craft project. Martha Stewart can suck it! Next thing you know I'll be making breadsticks that look like dead presidents and making flowers out of used kleenex. It will be great. For now though I think I'll just be happy with my fantastical new dresser.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Tattoos

So today I got a text from someone. It was a picture with the words "NEW INK!" Yes ladies and gentlemen this someone, who is not ready to go public yet, is all growed up and getting ink done. Weird. Not the actual tattoo, but the fact that he's no longer the buck-toothed bowl cutted kid that I always imagine him as. The tattoo itself is actually pretty sweet. It's the Green Lantern symbol for hope. I mean besides the fact that it looks cool Hope is also my middle name so I get to pretend he got it because he loves me so much and wants to think about me all the time. Seeing this new, and still incredibly painful looking, tattoo has caused me to reflect on my own opinion of tattoos. I've come to the conclusion that much like graffiti they are cool and can be really beautiful but probably not something I would ever actually try out for myself. The reasons behind it have less to do with the religiously frowned upon-ness of it and everything to do with sheer logic. First off, I am super indecisive and would have a really hard time actually deciding what I would want. I mean this thing is going to be on you forever. No way could I make that choice. Even if I did make it, I would probably change my mind. I think the biggest problem I have with them is that they are so permanent. I mean sure a tramp stamp is going to look super awesome and cute and classy now, but in 15-20 years when my metabolism grinds to a halt and I put on about 300 pounds that tramp stamp is just going to look gross. I mean really gross. Not like, wow that chick has ink right above her butt crack what a lovely area of the body to draw my attention to gross, but like what is that thing on that morbidly obese woman's back flesh, and is it supposed to be there and why do the morbidly obese always have muffin tops? gross. But I think they are cool. I think if I were to get one it would be on that little piece of skin right behind your ear before your hairline. I think I would get a woodpecker. But I don't think I'll tell you why. So there, ha!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Nodders

Today marks the beginning of my second semester at the U. I made it through the first semester and it's easy sailing from here. At least thats the hope. I would like to mark the beginning of this semester positively by listing all of the things about school/the classroom setting that bug me.
Nodders: You know who they are. The annoying folks who sit as close as they can to the front, and then, as if that isn't enough of a brown noser move they proceed to nod at everything the professor says. I mean really? You look like a bobble head. A really ridiculous bobble head. The professor doesn't need to know that you agree with him. He's a professor, so the stuff he's saying is probably right. Your nodding does nothing to help the class. Also wipe that grin off your face, you look ridiculous.
Snifflers: Something that I have always believed is that if your body wants something out of it, you should let it out. For instance if you have a disgustingly large amount of snot that is trying to drip itself out of your nose, don't snort it back up into the depths of your nasal cavities. It doesn't want to be there. It's going to try and escape again. Just get a tissue and blow it out.
The cough chain: One person coughs, and that starts a chain reaction. A few other people cough, and then a few more and soon its like some sort of horrible cough chorus. Everyone is coughing, even if they don't have to. It's the worst during a test, because I get distracted and like to see if I can pick out a coughing pattern.
Eaters: I have a thing about chewing. Mostly I am disgusted by the sound of people eating. Anything. If I can hear it being chewed I want to gag and run away and hit the person chewing. So obviously people coming to class and munching on an apple with their mouth wide open makes me a little twitchy. And by a little twitchy I mean it is physically hard for me to not just turn around and slap them. Eat your food in your home, not sitting next to me.
I think thats all. But seriously people are annoying. Happy semester everyone!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Reviews and non-resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! That's right folks it is 2011. I know you're shocked, surprised that another year has passed, but hey it happens. At this beautiful beginning of the new year I am going to do a review, but not of all of 2010, that would be WAY too hard. Nope I'm going to do a review of only my holidays, more specifically my trip to Idaho. At the same time I might come up with non-resolutions. See, I don't like real resolutions, because they all end the same way. You start out with this grand and lofty goals. You are pumped up, you are going to change and be better and blah blah blah. Then, inevitably you fail, and your self esteem plummets, you feel bad and your behavior worsens. I don't like resolutions, and I don't make them. But I have some non resolutions. These are, shockingly, not resolutions. I don't care if they happen, but if they do, great. So here it goes.
Idaho, if you don't have to visit it, I really wouldn't. It's windy and cold and there isn't really anything to do there, especially in the winter, in Twin Falls. So you know, just avoid it. Unfortunately my grandma and half my dads family is there so to Twin Falls I went. And that brings me to non-resolution number 1 never live in Idaho, or Wyoming, oooooor Montana (but I would be ok with Montana if I was old.)
One of the redeeming factors of Twin Falls is that because there isn't really anything to do there so we always do family trips to and Barns and Noble. I love that place. I'm pretty sure heaven will smell just like that beautiful beautiful place. I spent almost half of my Christmas on books. Which leads to my non-resolution Barnes number 2: Read books. I think I can do that.
I saw my cousins, in Idaho. The younger ones are adorable, but loud and the older ones are quiet but annoying. It was grand. No non-resolution here, just noting that while you have to love all your extended family sometimes it's best that you only see each other like twice a year.
Now some completely non Idaho non resolutions.
Non-resolution number 3: Better oral hygiene. I have been slacking on my flossing. It's not good. I'm going to stop that.
Non-resolution number 4: Don't kill my roommate. I think it's going to be harder then it sounds, but my motivation to not go to jail is high, so I think I'll be ok.
And that about wraps up the things I want to do with my life this year. Not an overwhelmingly ambitious list, but I'm ok with that. I think my self esteem will thank me later.