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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Hungry and Lonely

"If only, if only the woodpecker sighs,
the bark on the tree were as soft as the skies
As the wolf waits below, hungty and lonely,
and cries to the moon if only, if only."
Thank you Louis Sachar, for giving me a favorite poem in a favorite children's book. Seriously I love this poem. I think it is the perfect allegory for life. Especially my life this week. Everyday I get up, go to class, work, study, eat, laugh and smile (sometimes for real, and sometimes not so much) before falling into bed at night feeling worn out and worn thin, ready for a blissful escape from reality. But before slipping off into dream world I find myself thinking "if only, if only." It doesn't change anything, it doesn't mean things will or even can change. I'll still get up in the morning and repeat the whole cycle over again. School is still going to be stressful and confusion. Work is still going to be long and tedious. I'm still going to feel the often oppressive need to please everyone, like everything, do anything anyone needs, and never for a moment show how much I just want to give up sometimes. There are always going to be people who can make me really laugh and days that shouldn't end, and people who make me really want to scream and days that can't end too soon. I think though, that as long as I have those few moments every night where I can cry to the moon, if only, if only, things will be alright in the end.

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