Why are books cooler than people?

This summer will be my last in California. Yes world of nonreaders, I am going back home to Utah and the University of Utah. Reason's being that UCLA is stupid and won't give me residency and I don't want more debt and to have to work all the time. THERE! I said it and now you know, or you would if you existed. So anyway you would think that as I my time in LA is limited I would be partying like a rock star, or at the very least strapping on my fanny pack and trying to see all of LA like and enthusiastic tourist. You would think wrong. More and more I find myself wanting to avoid the company of others and escape into a good book. I, being the introspective and self evaluating person that I am have turned within myself to try and find out why books are cooler than people (notice the nod at the post title there.) I will number this list, and present it to you now.

5. The smell. I guess I can only half count this. I mean some people smell quite good. But other people do not smell good at all. A book on the other hand always smells good. I have never placed my nose deep within a books pages and not been satisfied with the smell of the air that passes through my schnoz. For those of you wondering how much time I actually spend with my nose quite literally stuck in a book, it's a pretty decent amount when compared to the average amount of time a normal person spends sniffing books. While I'm on this train of thought while it is weird to sniff books, it's not as creepy as sniffing actual people.

4. The drama. In books most conflict is a)necessary and b) resolved or dealt with by the end of the book. If only life could be this way. Seriously so many times I find myself, or hear of others dealing with completely unnecessary drama and having issues that never get resolved and are forever blown out of proportion. If only life's could follow that awesome 6th grade plot mountain: introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, conclusion. That would be the best thing ever because no matter how bad things get you know that eventually there has to be a falling action and conclusion where things are resolved.

3. The variety. If I had to guess how many different books had been written ever in the entire history of the earth I would say about a bafrillion. Books come in every shape size and style, just like people. Books differ from people in the fact that you can go to your local library, bookstore or Amazon and find exactly what you are looking for in a book. With people, it's a little more difficult. You're basically stuck with what you have or can find in your immediate surroundings. Sometimes I wish I could go to a library of people. Except that's a little creepy and weird.

2. Libraries/bookstores. They have books by the hundreds and thousands. They smell fantastic. They have comfy chairs. They are available most everywhere. They are quiet. People don't bug you. I wish I could live there. In a dream world I would be paid to sit in Barns and Noble and read, all day.

1. The escape. When I read a book I can go anywhere and do anything. I can pick a character and put myself in his or her shoes. I can fight for Russia in the Napoleonic wars. I can keep Geese and find my true love. I can slay dragons, and learn spells. I can do all of these things sitting on my comfy couch drinking chocolate milk. I can pick up a book and forget about my problems. I get transported to another world and don't have to leave it until I read that last page. To me that is the best thing about books.

So this post probably makes me sound like a crazy cat lady or shut in, but as long as I have my books, I think I'm ok with that. Leo Tolstoy doesn't care if I lose all my friends and become one with my couch, so neither do I.