1. Visible panty lines, or heaven forbid visible panties. Ok sometimes I get it a line along the cheek creeps in, it happens. But I should not be able to tell exactly where your thong sits, or whether your undies are made of lace by happening to catch a glimpse of your backside as a walk behind you.
2. See through clothing. On the bus this morning I women was wearing pants so tight, and so white that i could see her red and white striped underwear very clearly. Let me tell you what I don't want to see when I'm on the bus at 6:30 in the morning. Your underwear. I mean did it cross this woman's mind that white is not a super solid pant color and that non-colored underwear might be a good thing? Seriously, and if that was intention I have one word for you. Tacky. Making sure that everybody knows what kind of underwear or bra you are in is a cheap ploy for attention specifically the attention of creepy hormonal boys. Get your fix some other way.
3. Ugg boots, and more specifically ugg boots with shorts. It is my firm opinion or perhaps hope that anyone who actually saw what they looked like when they wore uggs would stop immediately. Especially if they saw how ridiculous wearing booty shorts and Uggs looks. If you are cold you should take off the shorts and put on pants, even if you still insist on sticking your foot into a shoe that not only feels but looks like a sheep's ass, at least it makes tempuratural sense. If you are warm wear sandals because then no part of you will overheat.. If you are determined to look short and heinous then by all means pair you uggs with shorts, everybody with sense will hate you.
4. Body parts popping out of clothing. Call me a prude but if you can't sit down, bend over and shake it like a salt shaker without some inappropriate, or unintentional body part slipping out then you should change. The list of clothing in danger here are daisy dukes, mini skirts, those things that are too long to be shirts but don't have enough fabric to be qualified as a dress, low cut tops and tube tops. Just because you aren't worried about exposing yourself to the world doesn't mean the world isn't worried about you exposing yourself to it.
5. Muffin Tops. Very very very very very few people have perfect bodies. I know that. But everybody can buy jeans that are a bit bigger and shirts that are a bit longer. You will look better without a ring of flesh hanging over your jeans, I promise.
6 Plumbers crack. How do you not feel that breeze? Pull up the pants because the butt crack is in the running with pinky toes, and the uvula for the least attractive and sexy part of the body.
I'm not saying I have perfect fashion sense, or even good fashion sense, in fact my fashion sense sucks but the afore mentioned things, in my opinion are horrible crimes which should be stopped, and could be stopped with the use of a full length mirror. Sorry if this comes across rude, but I have seen all I can see and can no longer remain silent as my eyes bleed.
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