Serious Thoughts on my Life's Direction

As many of you don't know, I am not going to be going to school for the next 8 months. Now for those of you who follow my life religiously you might know that this fall I started the occupational therapy program at the university of Utah, and generally school programs are continuous without lengthy breaks. Well you would be right. Unfortunately however last semester I had a cadaver lab. Where I dissected a body and was then tested on the muscles, vessels and nerves. It was part of a three part class along with an anatomy lecture and a kinesiology lecture. I struggled with the lab portion of this class. I don't like death, I don't like dead bodies, I don't like dissections, and I worked too much. So I guess the struggles made sense. In the end I didn't get the 75% that I needed in that third. I got a 74.2. And I passed the other two sections. And aced my other two classes. Unfortunately the higher powers of the program felt I needed to take the class over. And as the class is only offered in the fall I get to sit out the next semester. This news was met with much sadness, and some anger and bitterness. However, anger, sadness, and bitterness do not a happy life make. So I've mostly moved on to the final stage of grief, acceptance. I am accepting of this decision. I guess. I mean there's not a whole lot I can do about it. So while the acceptance may be forced, it's there. Now I've moved on to what I'm going to do with my life for the next eight months. And I have some ideas. I'm looking at this as an opportunity for self discovery and improvement. So instead of moping around feeling bad about myself and losing all my self esteem I am, you know, growing as a person, or something. I've started jogging. I'm going to a dermatologist at some point. I want to get knew glasses, and I will. I want to take care of me. I'm going to figure out my faith and my feminism (for those of you who don't know I'm a feminist. Surprise?) I'm going to find me. Hopefully. Or I'll just look back in 8 months and feel really silly for thinking I could do all this and be the same person I am now. But hopefully it's the first thing. Anywho, I thought I would put this out there so all the very few of you who read this will know. Also so that I could stop feeling like I'm hiding from this thing that happened. So I can move forward and not feel inferior and stupid and ashamed. Because I am human, damn it, and sometimes things are hard,and I fail. So deal with it, because I'm trying to.