Sleep is a finicky mistress*

I hereby declare that I have the most delicate sleep cycle ever. Ok maybe not ever, but it's pretty darn sensitive. If I drink caffeine after noon, I don't sleep. If I'm stressed, I don't sleep. If stressful events have just passed and I am filled with relief, I don't sleep. If I take a nap, I don't sleep. The list of things that disturb my slumber go on and on. If any of the afore mentioned things happen, instead of sleep I lie in bed for ages trying to fall asleep whilst my mind zips about at a bafrillion miles an hour. (How British was that sentence?) And then if I do get to sleep it's that weird half sleep where you wake up after every dream and have to repeat the whole process all over again. It is not an enjoyable experience. Even worse is the experience the day after one of these nights of no sleep. See without enough sleep I turn into kind of a bitch. And by kind of a bitch I mean I turn into a super bitch. It's not happy. I basically want to punch everyone in the face, with a chair. I'm grumpy, I'm short, I'm emotional and irrational. It's not a pleasant experience for anyone. And as I'm being a totally horrible person to everyone around me I hate myself, but I can't stop myself. I don't know why I feel the need to share this besides the fact that I had one of those night/days today. And it was awful. And if I hurt anyone reading this with my sharp tones and unpleasant scowls I apologize. It's not you, it's my lack of deep sleep.

*Credit for the title of this post go to Charles Burnett