Second Place Loser

Before I get to the real meat of this blog I feel I need a sort of pre blog statement slash warning, so here it is. I have great self esteem. I love me. Also I am cute. I have a nice face, good body, great brain and sense of humor and on more than one occasion I have caught a man "checking me out." I don't want to sound smug or braggy. I just want to inform you all that I am 100% ok with me, and this blog is not a way for me to pick up compliments. So you know, don't pity compliment me or anything. That being said, here goes the actual blog part of the evening.

I have noticed a weird phenomena since I have moved back to Utah. I think it has to do with the fact that I am no longer hanging out with a lot of dudes like I was at UCLA. Now that I'm in Utah I hang out with a lot more females. There are two females in particular that I hang out with a lot because well I like them a lot. We, and by that I mean I, will call them the Janes. Why am I calling two people by one name? Because they are very similar. They are both what you might call "knock outs." They have long hair that's always styled, perky chests that are always well displayed, they dress well in clothes that are both super fashionable and super flattering, they know how to accessorize and they always have perfect makeup. They are also very flirty, not in the bad way, just in the can't help it sort of way. Hanging out with the Janes is always fun, but I have noticed something happening when I hang out with the Janes in a setting where men are involved. Mostly it's that men gravitate to them. If it's the me, a Jane and one guy (or two or three or more) the guy(s) will talk to both of us, but hit on the Jane. It's funny. I mean it's not like I'm a grenade or anything, I'm just second place. It doesn't matter if the male in question and I listen to the same music, laugh at all of my witty comments and seem to have similar tastes in life, it's never me they want. The men are Tarzan and they want Jane.

I don't really know where I'm going from here, because I don't mind it. I can't flirt, or socially interact well at all, I know this, I move on. I just have found it happening over and over again and felt the need to recognize and express my feelings. I won't change, males won't change, life won't change, but at least now I have a name for my self when it happens. I am the second place loser. Rock on.